So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
