Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
why do cheetos always look like penises
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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