i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
