these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
