if you like me you must not know who I am
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
