This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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