Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
