their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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