Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
