he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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