I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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