Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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