There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
