ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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