I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
