I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
