Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
