perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
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