Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
