Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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