Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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