I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
