i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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