what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
