Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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