Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
