i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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