I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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