why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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