He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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