All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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