what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I just want to make out with him forever
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
