I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
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