I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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