yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
the gays at disneyland are vicious
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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