After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
