What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
