It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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