Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Pooping to opera.
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