I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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