FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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