I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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