Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
