In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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