When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
