Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
