Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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