he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
You're earring is so big in my mouth
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
