Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
