Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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