he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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