Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
