I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
