My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
