honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
