Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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