i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
