I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
