32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I wish I only lived at night.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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