I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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