Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
